It's such a weird feeling to be suicidal but not want to literally die.

Sometimes when my depression gets really bad, even laying down and doing absolutely nothing is still too much. Existing feels like work

I would love to be a voiceless, bodyless spectator in everything. No horses in any race, just the ability to survey and learn from everything going on in the moment. It would be really enlightening

being depressed while having adhd is a torture. it's like a constant battle. I've never had a moment of peace in my entire life. feels like not existing could be my only shot at peace.

Explained in a simple sentence

Passive suicidality. That is what this is. I’ve dealt with it essentially all my life, not wishing for death, but wishing I had never existed at all. Dealing with suicidality and its passive counterpart has led me to realize the actual difference between the two, and how common passive suicidality truly is. Its truly something strange

For me personally, I think it’s like I want to exist without consequences. It’s the desire to go where I want, do what I want, and live how I want without judgment or responsibility. I have struggled with people pleasing and social anxiety, so my mind eventually came to the conclusion that it would be better to just exist on my own, without others, free of consequence. But this has also made the concept of simply not existing seem enjoyable or peaceful as well.

We want to cease to exist, not because we are sad or suicidal. It's because we just want peace. Peace is the answer to this riddle.

I started from

It is an horrible feeling when you don't want to live yet you don't want to die, everything is meaningless, a person that wants to end it all at least has a way out, someone that doesn't want to exist, will never have their "happy" ending

The best analogy I have is that life is kind of like an amusement park. There are moments of enjoyment, but for the most part it's just waiting around trying to stay distracted until the short few fun parts. It's not that it's unbearable, but I would rather just not be here, it's just not worth it. But since I'm already here, and the people I'm here with don't want to leave, I guess I'll just hang out until I'm allowed to go.

I'm always down for Evangelion analysis out of nowhere

I've just become chronically aware I have nothing of real value to add to the world. I'm effectively useless, since I'm not capable of being anywhere near my ideal self.

When "the wish to fall asleep and never wake up again" was said I immediately held my breath because I was not expecting to be called out so hard like that.

Life sometimes just feels like a punishment for something unknown.