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You forgot The Hidden Rule of Modern Rage Games:

do *not* play this gamers, i heard a kid died once

"Now let's give him the ability to jump!"

“This game has a million bugs, but I don’t wanna fix it lol lmfao.”

thought, add a counter that goes up every time you jump,

You should add dialogue like "its getting pretty annoying huh?"

this game is not hard, it is soft.

Having two different timing elements that you need to sync up is the most evil game mechanic ever

I can only see the speed runs that are coming this games way lol

Mobile Game Publishers: hippity hoppity your gameplay is now my property

This game seems like that one wii game you'd install as a little kid.

2:57 I love how he's trying to mess up but fails

you forgot the 4th rule:

Next you should make a game about onions

Cool idea for you, add a difficulty slider on the main menu that changes the speed at which the movement arrow spins so that people want to play since they get enticed with the easier difficulty and find themselves wanting the dopamine rush from beating impossible mode

This game is totally incomplete without the legendary "motion blur".

I made the hardest game ever

Sam: Understand?